Do you over water?
Horticulture is a science and requires significant patience, understanding and focus on details, diversity and differentiation.
I have the highest respect for people who manage the responsibility of growing and nurturing different types of plants that require a different approach for a successful outcome. This skill set calls for a unique approach and care for the need
of a variety of plants. Care that may make one plant thrive could slowly eliminate another.
Most believe that water is a life source for plants. If that is a fact, why not dispense it in gallons!? Well, because water for some plants is not necessary and quite frankly detrimental ( Orange Daylily,Blue Spire, Hypericum)! Do you over water because you assume that one size fits all?
I believe growing plants and growing relationships are equally tricky challenges. Except with people, there’s no “Care card” stuck down in their pocket for direction. Therefore with people we have to watch, listen, learn, adjust and respect changes (adapt). Each person has their own rhythm and if you WATCH them long enough, you can pick it up. Eventually you will HEAR their love language (the things that are important to them). Yes, people should be studied for the greatest outcome!
Now, here’s where it gets tricky! When you learn how to love them (their care card), you have to meet them where they are and adjust to THEIR wants and needs. This is where most people struggle. You see, we’re curious (or nosy) enough to listen and learn but when it’s time to adjust and respect, that is when entitlement, judgement and control kicks in. Instead of listening with an open ear for understanding, we immediately transition to what WE think of this habit, lifestyle, behavior, etc.and therein lies the disconnect.
If we exercise patience in getting to know our people and learn about what is important to them, hold on… because there’s a high probability that they will change! You see, as long as we are living, things are changing. Most change that happens (environmental, relationship, lifestyle, etc.) Calls for people to change along with it. Some of us are severely adverse to change. Some of us take “change” personally as an attack as opposed to understanding that it is most likely evolution. If this is our reaction to change , in rushes emotion which too often does not make way for understanding. News flash! Everything’s not about You! Things change because they need to, because someone wanted them to, it was the natural progression of things and most times the change does not require our approval to initiate.
This life is so beautiful because of the diversity in it. Diversity in all things that don’t harm others IS beautiful! I never want to water down the importance of individuality, growth and change in people due to my own comfort.
Let’s lead with more curiosity and understanding to make way for continuous growth in our relationships OR accept that our relationships will end abruptly due to suffocation and lack of flexibility. The choice is ours. Ask yourself, ” Are you watering down positive results because you haven’t read the care card?”.
Till next time,